XLV. My Lord, how cruel my heart, which You should own!

Then the boy’s father cried out, “I do believe, help my unbelief!” Mk 9:24

My Lord, how cruel my heart, which You should own!

How swift to overlook what You endured:

The nails; the whips that cut, exposing bone;

The mock’ry and the jeers that to sin lured.

Yet You sinned not, while I, ungrateful fool,

Give into fear of worldly honor lost.

O surely, love of Love should be my rule,

Whate’er the consequence, whate’er the cost!

Too worldly to seek God, I cling to earth.

Too timid to defend You, oft I stray.

I beg to love You more, to know Your worth,

For I do love You, more than I can say.

To know I disappoint You rends my soul:

Far better rent it be than hard and whole!


About Victoria Grefer

Victoria is a New Orleans girl, born and raised, with an appreciation for the charm of the Deep South. She has a bachelor's degree in Spanish and English and a master's degree in Spanish literature, all from the University of Alabama. From the age of six she dreamed of becoming a writer, and her writing career begin in the third grade with a series of stories about herself and her friends solving mysteries. She self-published the Herezoth trilogy between 2012 and 2014 and is working on its second edition. She is soon to be a graduate student of theology.
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